The UK has the lowest breastfeeding rates in the world, and lots of Brits feel triggered by the idea of a toddler breastfeeding, so let's talk about it.
We have this thing culturally where we are uncomfortable celebrating anything that is not achievable by everyone. So, because some women can’t or won’t breastfeed, there’s discomfort with talking about breastfeeding’s benefits for fear, perhaps, of making those women feel bad. We have to be able to do both: talk about why breastfeeding is good for women and infants, and support women for whom it isn’t possible. I think the strength of some of those emotions comes from the fact that for many women the choice of formula is made for them because it is hard to continue breastfeeding when you go back to work.
This is so true. Every year during Breastfeeding Awareness Week, I see MORE posts from people saying things like, “WHAT ABOUT FORMULA AWARENESS WEEK? HAVING A BREASTFEEDING AWARENESS WEEK IS INSENSITIVE!” than posts actually about BAW. Or millions of posts about “fed is best”. Yeah, no kidding. It’s not breastfeed or starve to death. We all know that. But breastfeeding IS the minority choice. It should be ok to allow people to feel proud of overcoming any obstacles they may have faced in order to breastfeed.
I agree. Breastfeeding can be challenging, any woman using formula is fully aware of that. Why can’t we celebrate the work we’re doing? How is that insensitive?
I can't believe there isn't more conversation about weaning anxiety. For a long time breastfeeding is the perfect panacea. It's scary to step into a world where when they bonk their head, you don't have the perfect medicine that relieves pain and nueroinflammation. Breast milk can be a meal or it can be allergy relief or relieve an upset tummy. I've also had the experience where everyone in the house has to be hospitalized for a bug except the breastfed toddler. When they get overwhelmed by their rights and responsibilities breastfeeding lets them go back to being a baby and then start agaun refreshed . I feel like going from mama who always has the solution to mama who is figuring it out again would be the perfect recipe for imposter syndrome and I don't hear that spoken about!
It's true breastfeeding a toddler can suck way more than breastfeeding a newborn, but by the same token I also like having an emotional, connection based solution for emotional, irrational behavior when it arises.
I'm very pregnant and breastfeeding kind of sucks rigut now but I hate being told to wean. I don't know anyone who had been scared to wean and I don't understand that. And yeah, some of my anxiety is a me problem--a fear of not being good enough as a mom without this tool--but also breastfeeding is objectively immunologically and nutritionally beneficial for the child. Who's to say where the pathology begins and the basic reticence to discontinue something that is healthful for my offspring begins? Most people who think they know the answer haven't researched all of the health benefits of breaatmilk.
Can definitely relate to the anxiousness around weaning. I’m bf’ing my 2.5 yr old son and don’t know how to parent without. I feel like I’ll be starting from scratch relearning a whole new skill again 🫣
I’m currently nursing my 4th baby, and there’s an 8 year gap between her and her next closest sibling. The oddest thing I’ve noticed is I never see another mom out nursing in public these days. It’s just me. Have things changed that much in 8 years? It’s really quite disheartening to think on what these babies and mamas are missing out on.
This is so important! I was planning to wean my 15 month old at a year but we both just love it so much and I realized all the benefits you listed were important reasons to keep going too...now I'm thinking of continuing to breastfeed through my next pregnancy as well and tandem nurse :) I really wish extended breastfeeding was encouraged or talked about more in terms of these benefits!
I’m so happy to read that so many of us are breastfeeding extensively, just as it’s biologically normal to do. I’m still breastfeeding my 4.5-year-old on demand.
Some days, I think we’re done—and then, suddenly, it happens again for a few seconds. It makes me smile, feel proud, and truly happy to know I’m doing this for my child.
We faced huge obstacles, which I’ve described in earlier posts.
Anna, the fact that you were ready to stop and then a sickness changed that—it feels like a sign. I’m so glad you made it through.
I’m currently nursing my 3 month old. I don’t think I could convince my husband to let me extensively nurse like that. Was it difficult for you to convince him?
Every time I saw the health visitor she was like "oh you're still breastfeeding? Well done!" And I was just sitting there thinking *it's only been 2/4/6/8/12 weeks!* I was really sick with mastitis and had a few other pretty miserable issues with feeding and I remember thinking *I just have to make it to six months* and now here we are still breastfeeding at over a year. And when people ask me how I have a 98th percentile baby in excellent health, it's the perfect opportunity to tell them how amazing breastfeeding is 😂
But I have to say I'm immensely thankful that I don't have to go back to work. That makes a world of difference. Not everyone has that option.
This is a VERY important post! Thank you for helping teach about and normalize breastfeeding! I am a Grandmother of 5 and a Mother of 3. For my 3, I nursed the first one for 2.5 years, the second for 3.5 years and the 3rd for 4 years. Every child and every mother, will be different! And you will know when it’s time to wean your baby! You just will! 😊 Love this! Thanks again, Judi
Just gonna slide this article into a text to the next person that questions my breastfeeding journey 😂 (baby girl is 15 months and still going strong!) thank you for writing this ♥️
I’ve been breastfeeding for 7 years now (not the same child). It’s been a wonderful, natural journey and I feel proud of myself for it. Yet I feel a bit secretive about it once each child has reached 2yo. Why is that? It’s been a huge undertaking and I shouldn’t feel awkward or embarrassed, but society (including extended family) is rarely congratulatory, or even accepting, of mothers who breastfeed for a long time - despite the science supporting it.
I have three kids and I have breastfed them each to the age of 1. I have usually returned to work about that time and have not been able to pump milk to continue breastfeeding. So it has been a good time for me and the baby to stop breastfeeding. I might have continued if I would have been able to stay home longer. I live in Finland and here is a recommendation to exclusive breastfeed your baby until they are 6 months old. Then you can start experimenting with baby food slowly. Only 6% follow this rule. I was the only one among my friends who breastfed until the baby was 1 year old and did follow exclusive breastfeeding. I love the connection one gets while breastfeeding. And I have breastfed everywhere. I think that if someone does not approve that, it’s their problem.
I completely relate to every last word. Was ready to wean my 2 and a half year old, illness (HFMD) struck last month, felt like we took 3 steps back when we nursed for two days straight. but then I realized, he can't eat anything because of the sores in his mouth, how amazing that I can give him sustenance and comfort him.
I live in Greece with a 60-70% c section rate where most moms don't breastfeed past 3 or 6 months and it's taboo to nurse past 1 year. thankfully other women in my family have been supportive and many nursed their kids until they were 3 or 4.
everything you said is spot on! Thank you for sharing!
I love all of this Anna, I'm still breastfeeding my son who is 3 and 2 months and have no plans on stopping especially as it's such an important tool to support if he get sick plus laying the foundation of secure attachment so he can grow into a confident self assured boy.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts...I live in a community where breastfeeding is very common and typically done for the first 12 months so it's interesting to hear this about the UK. It's been something I've been able to do with all 4 of my babies and has not only been extremely hard the first few weeks/months, yet one of my favorite parts of being a mama. There's nothing else like it-- the health benefits, the bond, the closeness. Good for you for continuing and sharing openly about the amazing benefits of it.
We have this thing culturally where we are uncomfortable celebrating anything that is not achievable by everyone. So, because some women can’t or won’t breastfeed, there’s discomfort with talking about breastfeeding’s benefits for fear, perhaps, of making those women feel bad. We have to be able to do both: talk about why breastfeeding is good for women and infants, and support women for whom it isn’t possible. I think the strength of some of those emotions comes from the fact that for many women the choice of formula is made for them because it is hard to continue breastfeeding when you go back to work.
This is so true. Every year during Breastfeeding Awareness Week, I see MORE posts from people saying things like, “WHAT ABOUT FORMULA AWARENESS WEEK? HAVING A BREASTFEEDING AWARENESS WEEK IS INSENSITIVE!” than posts actually about BAW. Or millions of posts about “fed is best”. Yeah, no kidding. It’s not breastfeed or starve to death. We all know that. But breastfeeding IS the minority choice. It should be ok to allow people to feel proud of overcoming any obstacles they may have faced in order to breastfeed.
Absolutely.
I agree. Breastfeeding can be challenging, any woman using formula is fully aware of that. Why can’t we celebrate the work we’re doing? How is that insensitive?
So true
You nailed it.
I can't believe there isn't more conversation about weaning anxiety. For a long time breastfeeding is the perfect panacea. It's scary to step into a world where when they bonk their head, you don't have the perfect medicine that relieves pain and nueroinflammation. Breast milk can be a meal or it can be allergy relief or relieve an upset tummy. I've also had the experience where everyone in the house has to be hospitalized for a bug except the breastfed toddler. When they get overwhelmed by their rights and responsibilities breastfeeding lets them go back to being a baby and then start agaun refreshed . I feel like going from mama who always has the solution to mama who is figuring it out again would be the perfect recipe for imposter syndrome and I don't hear that spoken about!
It's true breastfeeding a toddler can suck way more than breastfeeding a newborn, but by the same token I also like having an emotional, connection based solution for emotional, irrational behavior when it arises.
I'm very pregnant and breastfeeding kind of sucks rigut now but I hate being told to wean. I don't know anyone who had been scared to wean and I don't understand that. And yeah, some of my anxiety is a me problem--a fear of not being good enough as a mom without this tool--but also breastfeeding is objectively immunologically and nutritionally beneficial for the child. Who's to say where the pathology begins and the basic reticence to discontinue something that is healthful for my offspring begins? Most people who think they know the answer haven't researched all of the health benefits of breaatmilk.
Very well said. I totally agree
Can definitely relate to the anxiousness around weaning. I’m bf’ing my 2.5 yr old son and don’t know how to parent without. I feel like I’ll be starting from scratch relearning a whole new skill again 🫣
I’m currently nursing my 4th baby, and there’s an 8 year gap between her and her next closest sibling. The oddest thing I’ve noticed is I never see another mom out nursing in public these days. It’s just me. Have things changed that much in 8 years? It’s really quite disheartening to think on what these babies and mamas are missing out on.
Yes , I really struggled to bf in public at first, and I think it was for this reason. No one else was doing it. So sad
This is so important! I was planning to wean my 15 month old at a year but we both just love it so much and I realized all the benefits you listed were important reasons to keep going too...now I'm thinking of continuing to breastfeed through my next pregnancy as well and tandem nurse :) I really wish extended breastfeeding was encouraged or talked about more in terms of these benefits!
I had no idea that tandem nursing was a possibility! It must be exhausting to nurse while pregnant? Eating for 3!
yes this is my thought too! but I know women do it so I'm gonna see how I feel once I get pregnant again (not planning to until next year sometime).
I’m so happy to read that so many of us are breastfeeding extensively, just as it’s biologically normal to do. I’m still breastfeeding my 4.5-year-old on demand.
Some days, I think we’re done—and then, suddenly, it happens again for a few seconds. It makes me smile, feel proud, and truly happy to know I’m doing this for my child.
We faced huge obstacles, which I’ve described in earlier posts.
Anna, the fact that you were ready to stop and then a sickness changed that—it feels like a sign. I’m so glad you made it through.
I’m currently nursing my 3 month old. I don’t think I could convince my husband to let me extensively nurse like that. Was it difficult for you to convince him?
Thanks for sharing and for nursing your little baby. I would say that you are a mother and only you are equiped to nurse. Your husband should support you (and i guess he is not very knowledgable about the benefits of nursing for his son, so you can explain it). I describe my experience and my husband’s role in it in this article: https://open.substack.com/pub/morethanenoughbyselene/p/embracing-change-how-i-discovered?r=4ph7fq&utm_medium=ios
Yes, one hundred million times to breast milk being a super healing magical power. It’s my go to fix pretty much everything.
Every time I saw the health visitor she was like "oh you're still breastfeeding? Well done!" And I was just sitting there thinking *it's only been 2/4/6/8/12 weeks!* I was really sick with mastitis and had a few other pretty miserable issues with feeding and I remember thinking *I just have to make it to six months* and now here we are still breastfeeding at over a year. And when people ask me how I have a 98th percentile baby in excellent health, it's the perfect opportunity to tell them how amazing breastfeeding is 😂
But I have to say I'm immensely thankful that I don't have to go back to work. That makes a world of difference. Not everyone has that option.
Yes, I felt grateful that I had quit my office job and did not have that pressure for sure.
This is a VERY important post! Thank you for helping teach about and normalize breastfeeding! I am a Grandmother of 5 and a Mother of 3. For my 3, I nursed the first one for 2.5 years, the second for 3.5 years and the 3rd for 4 years. Every child and every mother, will be different! And you will know when it’s time to wean your baby! You just will! 😊 Love this! Thanks again, Judi
Just gonna slide this article into a text to the next person that questions my breastfeeding journey 😂 (baby girl is 15 months and still going strong!) thank you for writing this ♥️
Ha yes! Love that
I’ve been breastfeeding for 7 years now (not the same child). It’s been a wonderful, natural journey and I feel proud of myself for it. Yet I feel a bit secretive about it once each child has reached 2yo. Why is that? It’s been a huge undertaking and I shouldn’t feel awkward or embarrassed, but society (including extended family) is rarely congratulatory, or even accepting, of mothers who breastfeed for a long time - despite the science supporting it.
I have three kids and I have breastfed them each to the age of 1. I have usually returned to work about that time and have not been able to pump milk to continue breastfeeding. So it has been a good time for me and the baby to stop breastfeeding. I might have continued if I would have been able to stay home longer. I live in Finland and here is a recommendation to exclusive breastfeed your baby until they are 6 months old. Then you can start experimenting with baby food slowly. Only 6% follow this rule. I was the only one among my friends who breastfed until the baby was 1 year old and did follow exclusive breastfeeding. I love the connection one gets while breastfeeding. And I have breastfed everywhere. I think that if someone does not approve that, it’s their problem.
I completely relate to every last word. Was ready to wean my 2 and a half year old, illness (HFMD) struck last month, felt like we took 3 steps back when we nursed for two days straight. but then I realized, he can't eat anything because of the sores in his mouth, how amazing that I can give him sustenance and comfort him.
I live in Greece with a 60-70% c section rate where most moms don't breastfeed past 3 or 6 months and it's taboo to nurse past 1 year. thankfully other women in my family have been supportive and many nursed their kids until they were 3 or 4.
everything you said is spot on! Thank you for sharing!
So many countries creeping up to a 70% section rate! So great that you've had support to do things your way.
Well said. I’ve had many of the same thoughts as I still nurse my 2.5 year old. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for writing this! Still Bf at 13 months, despite feeling pressure to stop when she turned 1. It just didn’t feel right for either of us.
I love all of this Anna, I'm still breastfeeding my son who is 3 and 2 months and have no plans on stopping especially as it's such an important tool to support if he get sick plus laying the foundation of secure attachment so he can grow into a confident self assured boy.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts...I live in a community where breastfeeding is very common and typically done for the first 12 months so it's interesting to hear this about the UK. It's been something I've been able to do with all 4 of my babies and has not only been extremely hard the first few weeks/months, yet one of my favorite parts of being a mama. There's nothing else like it-- the health benefits, the bond, the closeness. Good for you for continuing and sharing openly about the amazing benefits of it.